AWAKENED LIVING NEWSLETTER Vol 7 2/1/2021
Creating Community for Those in the Spiritual Awakening Process
Getting Beyond Fear in Awakening
Most people who find themselves on a spiritual search go through many developmental stages before the seeker in them finally collapses. Only then does life become more at ease and joy or inner peace appear spontaneously.
All of us have unique stories about our experiences as we seek awakening or enlightenment, or simply seek ways to remove ourselves from suffering. We may have tried meditation, energy work, plant medicines, initiations, pilgrimages, psychic openings – many options are available today. This search to be free of the way we feel about life, the struggle to deal with loss and grief and disillusionment that every human must endure at some level, is a major catalyst for entering the search. It certainly was for me, when I realized the emptiness I felt at my mother’s death when I was a girl, was also the emptiness of having lost faith in a God who could allow such things. I began to meditate when I decided I needed to know if there was a God. Much later, this became a longing for Truth.
So we all search for answers, and for the chance of being uplifted to another level of understanding, free of the emotional contractions and conditioning that causes sorrow, or fear, or rage. At the same time, it seems like those emotions fight to keep themselves dominant in our lives – it’s as if this emotional patterning (the pain body as Eckart Tolle calls it) believes we will be so vulnerable when we give it up that we will not survive without it.
So as we seek for freedom, love, or expansion of our consciousness, an undercurrent arises as if a character within is clinging to our psyches, refusing to let go. Each experience or opening we have gives us another glimpse of how we might live without contraction, and afterwards, when we find ourselves sinking back into an old pattern, we look for another experience, a newer and better and hopefully more permanent experience, that will hold forever. If we face our demons, which is always a useful thing to do, we may work out piece by piece those parts of our history that caused our pain, and release their hold on our lives. Yet still we find another trace of withholding. We think we want freedom but we aren’t so sure – there is a nagging fear that we will lose ourselves, stop loving our loved ones, be empty of drive and ambition – and what will happen then?
These concerns do not arise at the beginning of the journey because that which is propelling us sees only the light to which it is drawn. We are innocent about the nature of transformation. These fears arise when we are on the brink of knowing, or remembering, what we are. And we sense that remembering will undermine an identification that has been our anchor in the world we have created for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if this world is positive and successful, or miserable and dark. It is what is familiar and we are moving into a way of being that is not. We can’t know who we will be or how we will function. It looks dangerous.
This is a time to be kind to yourself, to smile at your tendency to stay in the human patterning,
And to find guidance that will help you trust that what is pulling you is coming from love and wisdom, and is only an awakening to something latent in yourself that has always been there.
It has been defined as the Self or the not-self, the light or the energy from which you were created, the stillness that holds all potentiality, pure consciousness or awareness, the mystery or that which cannot be named. Of course such a mystery is frightening to the little me, who may already feel alone or alienated in a vast world. Even if we begin to see this little me as the veils of identity covering something more essential, more eternal, we can be disarmed by the leap of faith required to let go. Yet what we find is only our truest nature.
This is one of the issues for those who have sudden and inexplicable awakenings or who fall into spaciousness through using a psychedelic – they are pushed in without knowledge and when they return they are often disoriented and confused. What is real? What do I do with what I have seen? For those who have long lives of spiritual exploring and gradual encounters with their psyches through practices, therapies, energy work etc. there can be many moments of opening the heart, the mind, or the world view that provide some perspective. Still, going into this radical shift of consciousness can look risky, appear to be the eraser of what understanding we have acquired thus far in a life of exploration.
Yet, in the end, however vast your knowing or Self-realization, the only thing left to do is play out the unique trajectory of the life you are in. There may be great shifts in what you are called to do, and the sense of meaning and purpose may no longer seem personal but rather just what is unfolding. Instead of striving for experience there is a relaxation into the wholeness of life, with all its challenges and even with death. Instead of efforting for self-improvement there is simple awareness when you need a course correction. Instead of accomplishing something, you intuit that something amazing has moved through you, and you are humbled by it. Instead of engaging emotions in order to be heard or loved, or to get things off your chest you notice emotions as energies of the human condition, enabling the play with others. There is neither acceptance nor rejection – they just arise, and they can fall away because nothing is needed in response, or if it is, you seek clarity about right action.
Awakening does not make anyone perfect, nor will it make the human race perfect. But it does clear up a lot of the debris that veils our ability to be present and responsive to what is. As long as we have minds we will live with the opposites, but there is a place of stillness in which to stand where we can hold both with equanimity and live in line with authentic expression in the world.
BOOK OF THE MONTH:
Hearts on Fire: The Tao of Meditation by Stephen Wolinsky Ph.D.
Hearts on Fire, first published in 1996, is a wonderful collection of meditations and processes you can experience that are drawn from Vedanta and the tantra of Kashmir Shaivism. Wolinsky explored these practices during his own awakening journey and later taught them to others, and this book is based on transcripts from his classes. They come from ancient teachings, but are user-friendly for the West, and they reflect his experience as a disciple of the renowned sage Nisargadatta Maharaj. He writes in the intro ”the purpose is to dis-identify from beliefs and thought constructs which limit awareness and create problem states.” Later he developed Quantum Psychology from these teachings. Once a clinical psychologist, Wolinsky has published 27 books related to Quantum Psychology and eastern teachings, designed to move us beyond the limitations and identifications of mind, and transmute psycho-emotional states. He spent over six years in India , much of it with Nisardagatta. He brings the depth of ancient methods into simple modern mediation practice. Read more about his work below.
Introduce yourself to some Teachers of Non-duality:
Non-duality is a mysterious and misunderstood term in the West, seeming to lead us to nothing — no-identity, no existence. Or to Oneness — one identity, one consciousness. Because it can only be known as a direct experience, descriptions of non-dual awakening invariably fall short. But one can see such realization brings inner peace. Underlying the teaching is the knowing there is only one source of our consciousness, despite its multiple reflections and appearances. Here are a few teachers if you want to be touched with an intuitive understanding of this mystery.
Nisargadatta: If you would like some understanding of non-duality and a touch of India you might enjoy a film on youtube about the sage Nisargadatta, created by Stephen Wolinsky. One of the most significant and impactful books ever produced about non-dual teachings is I Am That, a collection of talks by Nisargadatta. In this film “Rays of the Absolute (the Legacy of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj)”, Wolinsky interviews many of his close disciples, including his long-term translator. The movie is interspersed with clips of this great sage, his home and the streets of India. This film was supported by SAND (Science and Non-Duality) and shown at a conference. It is a gift made available on youtube by SAND. It has all the flavor of India and this profound teaching, which is the ultimate knowing of an awakening process.
Here is a link: Rays of the Absolute
Ramana Maharshi: Undoubtedly the most famous sage who brought non-duality teaching to the western world and who is probably responsible for the renewal of Advaita Vedanta in the last decades is Ramana Maharshi. His teachings emphasized inner silence, and those who sat with him in silence had remarkable awakenings. And he taught self-inquiry as a way of awakening to the Truth of who we are. There are books that collect his letters, and his talks, and a lovely Ramana Gita with dialogues students had with him. To read about Ramana you might begin with this short bio on realization.org. Ramana Maharshi
Rupert Spira: For a more modern experience of non-dual teachings you may want to look up Rupert Spira, if you haven’t yet. He is offering many webinars and at-home retreats at a modest cost, including a retreat-at-home coming up Feb 19-23. Rupert is known both as an artist in the UK and a non-dual master teacher, is the author of inspiring spiritual books, and usually speaks at the SAND conferences. You can find interviews and talks by him on youtube and facebook and his website makes it easy to register for programs he offers.
Link to his Feb at home retreat Rupert Spira Retreat
Link to webinar list for Rupert Spira Rupert's programs
Jac O’keefe is a modern and intriguing Irish woman with a compelling story of awakening and a non-dual perspective, who is offering weekly Sunday programs from 2-3:30 Eastern time on zoom under the label Truth Serum Café. Meetings are recorded and sent to subscribers and attendance is offered on a sliding scale beginning at $10. You can join one or attend on-going. Jac has a meditation called ll-minutes meditation on you- tube, as well as a few talks that will introduce her to you.
Jac is one of the founders of the Assn. for Spiritual Integrity and the author of How to Be a Spiritual Rebel and Born to be Free.
Here is a link to her site.
Turning Points in Awakening: An Excerpt from my upcoming book: Being Awake
Spiritual awakening is not (as some people imagine) a glamorous transformation making someone into an all-powerful mystic who can work miracles. It is not living on another plane of experience outside of your body. It is more like a shedding of everything within you that is blocking your access to clear and authentic expression of your true nature, which is essentially at peace and capable of seeing the radiance in the simple things of life.
Awakening does not demand that you go forth and change the world -- perhaps this was so for Jesus or Buddha, but fortunately it is not meant for everyone to become a famous prophet or found a religion. Awakening does not demand anything. Instead it presents opportunities to know where you might lean in, finding a way that is congruent for you, and go with a flow of energies that lead you to doing what you uniquely are meant to do. This may be much more simple than what your thoughts had in mind for you. Undoubtedly it will surprise you. It will be discovered once all your old drives have faded away. The loss of our familiar drives is another turning point.
Missing a Turn
It is possible to miss a turning point -- to refuse to see it, meet it or move forward when it beckons. Think about the significant moves in your life. Were they intuitions you followed, or clear choices? Were you inspired or did it feel more like a shove after an unexpected crisis? What did they bring forth in you? I think we do not create our turning points directly, but only keep our self open to recognizing them as opportunities. We can't dictate them, although the small inner voice asking for change may lead us to the passage into the next step of life.
Every life offers turning points -- it seems to be the way we humans change and grow into the fullness of our potential. Usually they are only seen in retrospect, and if we are lucky, with appreciation.
It can be a helpful exercise to draw a timeline of your life and mark the major events or turning points along the way, noting how each changed you in some important way, and asking if they were clear decisions or simply chance meetings with fate.
SPIRITUAL SUPPORT GROUP Jill Buchholz is starting a new 4-week support group series on Feb 7th meeting every Sunday 8:30am-10am PST. The fee for this program is sliding scale $10 - $15/per week through PayPal. In an effort to facilitate intimacy of sharing, if the group grows large, she may add an additional group mid-week.
Jill has a background in nursing, end of life care, and fine arts. She offers energy healing and mentoring for those in the awakening and kundalini process through both individual sessions and support groups. Living with kundalini since her initial awakening 26 years ago, Jill enjoys helping others find meaning and balanced integration in their process. She has completed my training program for professionals who support kundalini experiencers. Those in her groups have benefited from meaningful connection with others in the awakening process, receiving extra support dealing with energies, and refining tools for embodiment. Contact Jill for further information about the ongoing support groups and mentoring she offers. Her email is diamondheartflowing@gmail.com.
NOTES ON MY WORK: I have just begun a new Living with Kundalini webinar so a new program will not be available for awhile. But if you are interested in an assessment with me contact me through my website www.kundaliniguide.com.
This newsletter is written by Bonnie Greenwell Ph.D., a transpersonal psychotherapist and non-dual teacher, author of Energies of Transformation, The Kundalini Guide, The Awakening Guide and When Spirit Leaps: Navigating the Process of Spiritual Awakening. You can contact her through her websites: www.kundaliniguide.com and www.awakeningguide.com. Her books are on Amazon and Kindle. You can see interviews with her on youtube by putting her name in the search engine there, and read more essays on her blog shantiriver.wordpress.com. All recommendations in this newsletter are based on Bonnie’s experience and should never take the place of medical or psychiatric guidance.
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Well said..