AWAKENED LIVING NEWSLETTER Vol 13 May 12,2021

Creating Community for Those in the Spiritual Awakening Process

This Newsletter offers essays and selected writings on spiritual awakening and kundalini from Dr. Bonnie Greenwell, transpersonal psychotherapist and non-dual teacher, for a community of people interested in these topics.

Awakening in the Unknown

If you are inviting yourself to awaken or to be enlightened you should know you are also inviting yourself to live always in the unknown. The true nature is here, present, with what is right now, with no concern about the past or the future. It meets each moment fresh – and brings a response that is unplanned and unpredictable.  This means we learn to live have a perspective that life is a mystery, with continually arising possibilities.

To awaken to this we begin by having great doubt about what we know.  There is a question we cannot answer in our minds. Who am I really? What is life all about? Is there a God? Why is  there life at all?  We don’t know.

To discover the truth of our being we must give up the idea of knowing and be willing to live in uncertainity. Adyashanti has said.” The Unknown is actually the absolute necessary ground from which to engage in any deep form of spirituality—without that, it’s just a bunch of ideas…The beginning foundation—even if it doesn’t sound like a foundation—is actually the willingness not to know, or at least the willingness not to be certain. We start to hold things a little more loosely. When we start to hold things less tightly, the veils through which we tend to perceive things just naturally start to settle.”

Our minds are full of information, entrenched in historical memories of what  happened in the past and concerned about planning for the future. There seem to be various ways in which the mind distributes this information

There seem to be  many aspects of mind.

The working mind – which is not  a problem –just tells us what to put on a calendar, or reminds us how to drive a car or find a location or eat safe food or count our money. It has a simple job to do.

The self-referencing mind –  locks us in to certain beliefs about ourselves and worries about how we are. Perceived by others, offering judgments and criticism, usually based on stored impressions and information from childhood experiences. It is the way we frame who we are and talk to ourselves.

The file cabinet mind – this holds all the bits of knowledge collected over the years, bringing up data when needed, or spontaneously throwing out opinions.

The catastrophic mind – this creates scenarios about what might happen. It’s imaginative and runs on fear and creates a lot of limits and boundaries and even illness in our lives.

The curious mind – compels us to add more and more to the file cabinet but is stymied by the bigger questions and this can help us to become open and available to a greater truth.

The empty mind--Most who follow meditation practices are seeking an empty mind, a stillness of mind that is behind or before all the activity of thought and the reactivity of emotion. We see the empty mind as being peaceful and receptive to the realization of bigger questions when we give up believing we can answer these on our own.

Someone once told me of an awakening she had while being strangled – she was terrified and struggling until suddenly fear or resistance dropped away, leaving  just acceptance, quiet, light and expansiveness. She was not herself any longer and instead felt part of the entire universe. She woke up. This is a hard way to wake up but it demonstrates what is behind the active mind when it gives up thought, gives up fear, and lets go of the identifications.

Most of us have to peel away the compulsive activity, releasing attachment to these many aspects of mind, layer by layer. It is especially hard to ignore the file cabinet, the self-referencing, and the catastrophic patterns of mind, trusting there is life without them.

When we feel so afraid of letting go we are fearful of losing the movement of identification with who we are.  It doesn’t seem to matter whether we have a negative self-image or a positive one – it is always threatening to let it fall away because we are plunging into the unknown. We do not know what will be left or who we will be if we don’t identify with our history and past experiences, the collection of impressions and beliefs we hold in the file cabinet mind. This possibility stimulates the catastrophic aspect of mind which imagines all the things that can go wrong if we do not stay in charge.

This is part of the problem with kundalini awakening – we have moments of feeling we have lost our mind – our familiar patterns of control based on our learned experiences.  We touch the unknown, the mystery. Things are happening that no one has taught us about and we have no programming for dealing with them.  These may be energetic, or they may be shifts of consciousness.  We feel we have lost our ground, our orientation in the world.  Especially, if we have had a shallow orientation or sense of identity before, we can feel we are floundering with nothing to hold on to.  If we have a strong sense of identity, we can feel frightened that we are losing our mind. However, this provides a framework that will partially reconstruct itself after the initial phase of awakening has passed. Then we enter this sense of “I had it – I lost it” so concerning to spiritual seekers.

Most meditation practices focus on concentrating the mind on one thing – the breath, a light, a sound, watching thoughts without getting engaged in them.  At some point there is then only one thing to drop away so that we can have an empty mind.  When the mind is empty, we are more vulnerable to having a direct experience of our True Nature, the pure unbounded consciousness that was present always but was clouded by all the activity of thought.

Breathwork, psychedelics and other experiences can also plunge us out of thought momentarily and into this boundless space.  And sometimes a great emotional crisis or physical threat to life does this as well.

 Because we are not the separate identities we think we are. 

We are this consciousness condensed for a short period of time in a physical form. We have identified with the mind that is full of experiences and has been given a name and certain roles in the world.

It is as if awakening breaks a spell we have been under, and gives us a glimpse of a larger but much more empty and unpredictable space.  Consciousness is a movement out of what some have called the Absolute – the potentiality of all creation that is unspeakable, that cannot be put into language. It has to be an unknown territory. It is beyond the minds ability to conceive of it.

EVENTS AND LINKS

If you have not yet discovered SAND I suggest you look over their new website www.scienceandnonduaiity.com.  This is a remarkable organization hosting many programs with dozens of renowned speakers who have information of value to those who are drawn toward spiritual awakening. It will help you to realize you are not alone but are part of a world-wide expanding community. In the past they have held gatherings twice a year, in California and Italy, but currently they are creating summits and webinars you can attend from home. The upcoming 3-day retreat (at home) is Sacred Wounds: Trauma and Healing on the Spiritual Path featuring Peter Levine Ph.D from April 30-May 2. The next event is titled Wisdom in Time of Crisis,  May 24-31. SAND’s intention is to bring together preeminent thinkers from scientific fields to dialogue with spiritual teachers and practitioners  on the deep mysteries of life, free from dogmatism, and to form a vibrant community of individuals.  Here is their description of purpose as posted on their site:

At SAND we envision a humanity firmly rooted in the truth of our interconnectedness. We see Earth as a living being and we hold life, in all its shapes and forms, as intelligent, sacred and complete. 

We promote a spirituality honoring both the absolute/transcendent and the relative/immanent aspects of consciousness—ultimately one and the same.

We are also being called to challenge all the ways in which the realization of our interconnectedness might not be fully embodied. In these times of crisis, we need to be initiated into radical compassion, care and love for all life. 

Truth, spiritual or otherwise, is not an abstraction but an ongoing moment-to-moment relationship to life as one interconnected whole. SAND stands for nurturing a community in which we belong to ourselves, to each other and to Life. 

Upcoming Live Webcast Teaching with Dalai Lama

His Holiness the Dalai Lama will give a teaching on The Heart Sutra on May 1, followed by a question and answer session from 9 am to 10.30 am (Indian Standard Time) as part of a two-day Prayer (Monlam) Ceremony organized by the Taiwanese Tibetan Buddhist Prayer Committee. Those interested may watch the live webcast of the teachings in Tibetan with translation in English, Chinese, Hindi, French, Russian, Spanish, Vietnamese, Japanese, Mongolian, Korean, German, Portuguese and Italian on the official websites and Facebook pages of the Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. People are requested to please follow their local social distancing rules while viewing the live webcast.https://www.dalailama.com/live

Here is an excerpt from my first book, Energies of Transformation, published in 1990 and now out of print. It  is a comprehensive exploration of the kundalini process based on research  and interviews related to my dissertation.

KUNDALINI: AWAKENING TO RADICAL SPIRITUALITY

Suddenly energy moved up from the bottom of my spine to my earth and exploded like a newtron bomb going off in my chest.  I expanded spherically in tiny pieces, which were all that remained of me, like bits of energy traveling fast through warp speed to the ends of the universe...I became waves of energy passing on and on past the edges of the universe.  Nothing was left...Rob

            This book is about the subtle energy of the life force, the pure consciousness beyond mind, and the ecstatic experience of spiritual awakening.  It also tells of physical collapse, psychic chaos, and personality upheaval --those elements of human transformation that uproot individuals to the core.  It tells the stories of people, both ancient and modern, who have discovered and moved through an experience that pushed the edges of their sanity and their divinity.  It is a guide for survival and transformation.

            It sometimes happens that when people pray, meditate or turn inward with great intensity to find "God", what they ultimately experience is the sat-chit-ananda of the ancient Indian scriptures.  Sat is existence or beingness, the substance or essence that is all things.  Eastern scriptures state that prior to creation there was only sat, one without a second, undivided.  It exists always and everywhere.  Chit is cosmic intelligence or knowledge that fills everything, a consciousness without personal identity.  Ananda is ecstatic bliss.   Indian pandits identify these three qualities as the true nature of existence.

            Direct intuition of sat-chit-ananda becomes possible following the eruption of kundalini energy, which is latent in each of us.  When this primal, intense energy uncoils from its nest at the base of the spine it seems to move with intentionality through the body and psyche and is believed by eastern mystics  to transform a person at the cellular level.  When one feels the first intense waves of this energy/consciousness, and is tossed into the physical, psychological and spiritual chaos that follows, it is called kundalini awakening.

            If you have awakened this energy, whether through discipline and spiritual practice, as a consequence of therapeutic breathwork or other intense therapies, following a near-death experience or other traumatic event, or inexplicably, for no reason at all that you can imagine, you are connecting with evolutionary energetic and psychic forces. These energies carry consciousness with them, just as waves in the air can carry radio signals, and in some people cause the equivalent of a psychic Armageddon , in which the boundaries that have contained self-identity are exploded and new possibilities emerge.

            People who have experienced the sudden awakening of  kundalini energy describe it in many ways.  Here are two examples:

            While meditating I felt suddenly as if I had broken

                        through a layer of ice and could feel myself dancing

                        above an ocean of bliss, feeling my toes touching it feeling

                        intense  thrills and warmth flowing from my toes up

                        through my body, flowing everywhere.  Then I was

                        plunged into this ocean and lost awareness of what was

                        happening. It was indescribable...Jay

_______________________________________________________________

                        I reached for a book of  Yogananda's to look up a

                        quote.  I felt as if someone put a heavy hand on my

                        shoulder and pressed me down to the floor and

                        stretched me out.  Waves of ecstatic energy flooded

                        through me and my mind was lost in energy and

                        light,  I stayed like this for about four hours...Chris

            While these experiences are remarkable as singular events in someone's life, they are identifiable as kundalini experiences because they are the initial events triggering other processes lasting months and years.  There are many phenomena that accompany this awakening of spiritual energy/consciousness.  They fall into roughly seven categories: kriyas (involuntary movements); body sensations and symptoms; spontaneous yogic postures and breaths;  emotional upheavals; extrasensory input (visual auditory and olfactory); psychic and paranormal phenomena; and samadhi or satori experiences.  Major changes in perspective and lifestyle frequently accompany such awakenings.

            Often the first flush of kundalini is felt as energy moving up from the base of the spine where, according to esoteric literature, it has been coiled since birth.  This energy is said to have ignited the sperm and the egg, and set the development of the fetus in motion, before settling in its resting place, where it holds the system in stasis until death, and then releases itself.   When it opens through specific practices or by accident it may flood the body like a geyser, crawl slowly upward in a spiral motion like a snake, or flow in a steady and gradual stream up the spine and through the crown of the head.  This may happen immediately, or it may be a gradual development over months and years.  During this movement the  body may jerk, vibrate or feel  charged by energetic and possibly ecstatic sensations.  The nervous system may be overwhelmed by intense heat, sounds or light.  The energy may someday stop its upward climb and  become blocked in some area of the body.  Or it may linger and remake the man or woman from the ground up.  This new person may struggle for years with physical and psychological upheavals because it feels like one is beginning life from an entirely new perspective.  It feels as if every latent or incomplete physical and emotional condition in the old character must be addressed, resolved and released. All old beliefs and positions become irrelevant  and burdensome.  Thought itself may become uncomfortable and there is a pull toward an intuitive way of functioning in the world. 

            This radical spiritual experience seems to arise from the deepest root of the Self, and sweeps one into revolutionary personality and physiological changes.  The intensity of this movement has been described in some yogic scriptures as the rush of a divine goddess, Shakti, as she whips up the channels of the body to be reunited with her lover, Shiva, the universal  consciousness of existence.  This demanding goddess, the creatrix and sustainer of human life, initiates a struggle to free human consciousness from worldly thoughts and limitations, while producing a wide range of psychic and physiological phenomena.  She triggers ecstatic sensations and agonizing self-confrontation, and demands the reorientation of one's life until it is lived simply and authentically, and i n the immediacy of the moment.

            Until recent years the understanding and exploring of kundalini was hidden in esoteric teachings and secret practices, so little was known by common people of its impact and potential.  Recently it has been reported by spiritual seekers from many traditions, and by many others who do not consider themselves to be spiritual seekers at all.  When the experience happens to those who have neither context nor understanding of the correlates between physical and mystical experience it can leave them bewildered and fearful, even psychologically fragmented.  And when they turn to traditional physicians, psychotherapists or church advisors their anxiety is compounded because western culture offers them no framework with which to hold the connection between spirituality and energy in the body.

            Spiritual awakening need not be a fragmenting not painful event, although it clearly triggers both physical and emotional transformation.  There is ample evidence that the nature of spiritual energy is primarily expanded consciousness and bliss, which is felt more consistently once the process has stabilized.  It is helpful to view this as a process: a series of actions, changes and functions intended to strengthen the body and character in order to build a vehicle strong enough to hold spiritual energy and insight.  Yogis believe a great deal of structure must be created in the body/mind complex through yoga practices, self-discipline and moderate living before it s safe to awaken kundalini.  Many westerners, who have awakened it with little preparation, find themselves navigating the challenges of this transformation with inadequate personal resources to contain it. 

NOTE FROM BONNIE

I am currently dealing directly with the unknown because of an unexpected cancer diagnosis. I hope to continue this newsletter for those interested in my writings and musings but it may become more irregular. No book review this week, and I am open to suggestions for the future. Remember to check archived newsletters if you are looking for resources related to your own process. Although this system being free to users doesn’t allow for comments you can contact me through the contact page on my websites www.kundaliniguide.com and www.awakeningguide.com if you do not already have my contact info.